Sucking-it-up

You hear a lot of parents talk about how they sacrifice for their kids. Early on I knew what that meant. You know...letting your kids spend a little extra to get the sundae bar at the restaurant, going to the movies to see THEIR movie instead of yours, things like that. And it was easy...those sacrifices brought me pleasure.
I graduated from that level of sacrifice many years ago. That was T-ball-esque. I'm now in the minor leagues of sacrifice, by my own estimation. I've been teaching night classes for a dozen years now so that my wife could be the one to pick the kids up from school, and be there with them in the afternoons. For the first two years of doing this, I felt sorry for myself. Especially when I had two night classes in one week. That meant getting up at 6 a.m., coming home at 10:30 p.m. At some point, though, I learned that I could do it without dying, and the complaining in my own head was doing me no good at all. In other words, I learned to suck-it-up.
Sucking-it-up is a healthy thing. It takes you to a new level. It allows you to view hardship more as status-quo, not as a burden, and once that happens it ain't so bad.
Recently I reached an even higher level of sucking-it-up. I won't go into details, but I've been given an escalated challenge regarding my kids. At some point, after stressing out about it for a long time, I've hit that sucking-it-up point again. In fact, once I chose to suck-it-up, a peaceful feeling came over me and a special thought entered my mind to help me through it.
Basically, I realized that there will be very few opportunities in my life to be a hero. Maybe if I had been a EMT, soldier, fireman, police officer, nurse, doctor...whatever...maybe then I would have been a hero, maybe even every day. But I'm not. I'm an office worker. Don't get me wrong, being a dad is important enough, but I know plenty of dads who perform this role without heroism. Heroism comes through sacrifice. I've now associated this new level of sacrifice with my only shot to be a hero. Now suddenly everything is in a different light. In a twisted way, this is selfish; I'm more willing to do this now that there's something in it for me, the good vibe about being a hero. But in another way, it merely validates the importance of what I'm doing, and there's nothing selfish about that. Yes, I can truly be a hero. I am changing two lives, positively, even though it means major inconveniences and stresses in my own life.
I still don't think I've hit the major leagues of sacrifice just yet. Here are a few examples of people who I have witnessed who really know about sacrifice:

• My wife spent nearly 5 months flat on her back while on bed rest during our first pregnancy. If you think this would be luxury, just try it some time when you have 5 months to spare. She also had a strict diet due to gestational diabetes and had a number of other pregnancy-related challenges that proved to be a very difficult 5 months.
• I know a guy who's wife willingly gave up a kidney for her sister. Then, years later, worked a second job after her sister-in-law who came down with cancer and could not work. She gave all the money from that second job to her sister-in-law while she got cancer treatments.
• I have a brother-in-law who's job regularly demands him to work 50 hours in the span of a weekend to meet a deadline. And at the end of that shift, he'll chose NOT to go to bed, but watch a movie with the kids instead.
• Another brother-in-law drives for FedEx and gets some pretty crappy hours and deals with stressful driving conditions all the time...then he comes home to his farm and drives fence posts into the ground (by hand) for hours on end because of his legal need to fence out trespassers. He's one of the hardest working guys I know.
• My parents remind me of when I was a baby, they'd pray for storms. My dad worked at Cincinnati Bell, climbing telephone poles, and if there was a storm, he'd get overtime, and that meant they could pay the heat bill.
• My sister raised her son as a single mom because her husband died when my nephew was only 1 year old. She won't admit this was heroic, but I think it is.
• Speaking of single moms...I have met hundreds of them while teaching at Cincinnati State. They are raising their kids and getting an education at the same time, to make a better future for the family. I see them coming from the bus stop on rainy days, with their kids, on the way to the childcare on campus. I don't care what got them into their single-mother-hood, they are still working hard to get out, and that's commendable.

So, basically, I'm surrounded by people who suck-it-up. This makes my own sucking-up go a little smoother, to take their lead.
I believe it's God who's behind all this sucking-up. Once you've been a Christian long enough, you begin to feel the presence of the Holy Spirit at work. Non-believers would just say this is delusional thinking, but I know I'm not deluded since delusions don't impact other areas of my life. I know I'm right about this (unless I'm deluded about being delusional!). My latest challenges are just another chapter in that spiritual saga.
Where I work we have these performance goals called "stretch goals" where they hold you accountable to achieve something that's almost impossible. The boss knows you probably won't make it, but it will stretch you in the right direction and make you stronger as a result. I think God is big on stretch goals. If you feel you are being stretched, perhaps you should pray to God for the ability to suck-it-up. I think the sucking helps you achieve the goal, but if you don't suck-it-up, your self pity makes the goal even less attainable. I've found it to do wonders for my ability to handle life's tough stuff.

Is Soccer Boring?

I've been asked a few times recently why the heck I'm a soccer fan. And usually, within a few minutes of the conversation, the inevitable comment surfaces; soccer is boring.
I'm sure a lot of people think so. After all, who wants to watch a game that ends 0-0 after 90 minutes of kicking a ball around? The secret is, however, that sometimes those can make tremendous games.

For example, take the Chivas USA v.s. L.A. Galaxy game from 4/11/09. There were penalties out the wazoo, with a couple of ejections and some very close shots on goal. All of these things alone can be exciting, but the reason it was a good game despite no scores, was because of the passion for possession. Here's another video to show you what I'm talking about.

This is what makes just about any game worth watching, IMHO. You can miss this if you are not paying attention. In fact, I missed this for years before it clicked. It took a few games of World Cup 2006 to open my eyes. In particular, it took watching those games along with a group of international soccer fans. They made me realize this was not just a case of a bunch of guys on the field passing the ball back and forth. There's a great deal of drama and physical exertion involved, once you catch on to this continual battle that's taking place for 90 minutes.

Americans, in general, have a taste for a lot of scoring. And I understand that. Although, I just don't get the NBA...there's SO much scoring that each basket seems less important in the grand scheme of things. And there's plenty of football games that end with just a handful of scores; a game of 10-7 amounts to just three scores during the game, which is also not uncommon in a Soccer match.

And with respect to boredom, please don't get me started on Baseball. Yawn.

So the next time you see a soccer match on TV, take a few minutes and try to look for the battle for possession. See if maybe this will help you find a little more value in the game.

Signs of Life Found in Oakley

April 10, 2009The marquee of the 20th Century Theater in the heart of Oakley (suburb of Cincinnati, OH) shimmered in reflection against the puddles that snaked across the sidewalk below. Even in the watery reflection, you could make out the message that Signs of Life, a Pink Floyd tribute band, would be performing at 8 p.m. And perform they did, quite remarkably, to keep a throng of aging Pink Floyd fans happy for a few hours.

Let's not kid any one; the realm of Tribute Bands has a great capacity for comic relief. I've endured a number of such shows that left me in stitches, including a Rush tribute featuring a Geddy Lee wanna-be who lost his pony-tailed wig while working out on "Working Man." I knew there was potential for this kind of thing going into the Signs of Life (SoL) show and was prepared for what could have been something of a farce. But I also had prior knowledge of some of the players in this band and I knew there would be respect given to the music of Rock-n-Roll hall-of-famer, Pink Floyd.

Jonathan Stankorb, the leader of SoL, has quite a well established reputation for honoring monolithic musicians and doing so with taste. Previously Jon had pulled off a Joe Satriani tribute band and played in a Beatles review as well, both appealing to musically astute fans throughout the mid-west where Jon’s tours traversed. Rick Fields on keys and guitar, who exuded a "Musical Director" air about him during the SoL show, is the kind of guy who could probably pick up any instrument and play it well within a half-an-hour. And lastly I was also familiar with two of the three background singers. Despite my familiarity with these people, there was still considerable room for error in their handling of one of classic rock’s favorite outfits.

As for the show itself, the band played two sets with a 30 minute break in the middle. The volume level was perfect; loud enough to enjoy without sending cock-roaches scurrying for the exits. I'll give SoL a B- for the first set, and a solid A for the second set. I think the B- was attributed to nervousness more than anything else, as this was the first public performance for SoL. There were some missed cues, syncing problems between musicians, and some equipment struggles as well (neglected settings changes on foot pedals, missed readjustments of volume knobs, that kind of thing). Despite the jitters, this generally did not negatively impact the quality of the music or the overall performance; non-musicians probably did not notice any of this.

Sometimes with these tribute shows there is a danger of fan disdain if their favorite group's catalog is not well represented. This was not a problem here, the band was wise in their selections. Prior to the start of the SoL show, I asked someone sitting next to me just how much of the 1960's pop fare might be covered (such as "See Emily Play" or “Apples & Oranges”), which I asked in jest. I'm glad they avoided that era; I think that would have come off as very campy. But while early pop hits were ousted, early Floyd psychedelic was not forgotten. The band sprinkled the audience with archeological artifacts such as "Fearless," "Fat Old Sun," and "Set the Controls for the Heart of the Sun." The later piece truly captured the psychedelic period quite well, reminding me of The Door's "The End" in its build towards a chaotic middle-section followed by a soothing finale.

It should be no surprise that "Dark Side of the Moon" received heavy treatment, being Floyd's greatest commercial success. Despite this, I was disappointed that SoL didn't attempt "The Great Gig in the Sky" given the powerhouse female vocal talent they had on stage. Easier said than done, perhaps, but this would have certainly been the pinnacle of the show if they had let the ladies stretch out a bit on that one. Perhaps patrons in other cities later in the tour will get such a treat.

Second up in terms of representation was the "Wish You Were Here" album. "Wish You Were Here," "Shine On You Crazy Diamonds," and "Have A Cigar" were all included, with spectacular keyboard and saxophone treatments. The rest of the Floyd catalog was only slightly represented; two songs from "The Wall", one from the Division Bell, etc. There was nothing to be found from "Animals" or "The Final Cut," but the sheer quantity of what was covered in 3 hours simply left no room for anything more.

Visually speaking, the group did a nice job of capturing the signature Hipgnosis imagery of days gone by, somehow acquiring original Floyd video for display on a large movie screen behind them. This wasn't done for all of the songs, but maybe half were accompanied by the visuals. Realistically, for a production of this size, nothing more could have been expected, although it would have been a real treat to see an inflatable pig or two. And while it was all tremendously nostalgic, the film quality of some of the visuals, as well as the fashion sense of some of the people in those videos, left me with a startling realization that I'm getting older (like I didn't already know that.) In fact, age was a common denominator for most of the crowd; there was more gray hair in that theater than you could find on a chinchilla ranch.

The musicianship was top notch, all the way around the stage. With three guitarists on many of the tunes, it was possible to emulate the overdubed brilliance of David Gilmour quite effectively. The Keyboard player managed to trot out a few classic analog synth pads to conjure up the magical richness of the late Richard Wright. The bass duties included a convincing "Hey You" run (that had been accomplished by Gilmour, not Waters, on the original recording), despite this bass player not having a fretless bass. The drummer had quite a loud, solid presence, which felt good having him up in the mix. And, as mentioned before, the sax player was incredible; while holding to many of the familiar melodic lines on original recordings, he mostly supplied improvisational solos that added freshness to these classic tunes without violating them.

Of all of the musicians to take solos, it was Jon himself who took center stage, both literally and figuratively. Not only did he capture Gilmour's style, nearly note for note on many songs, he also had the tone. And for Floyd fans, anything but that true Gilmour tone would have been unacceptable. And like the drummer, Jon was well up in the mix, leaving nothing to the imagination...if his guitar playing were a human voice, you'd have been able to hear him breathing.

Lastly, die-hard tie-died Floyd followers will appreciate the sprinkling of audio effects that was also used throughout the show: the cartoon music teaser prior to "Wish You Were Here," the rowing effect from the opening strains of “Signs of Life", the classic alarm clocks on "Time"… they were all used to great effect. All told, when you take stock of the sheer volume of authentic Floyd devices employed during this show, both audible and visual, you would be hard pressed walk away without thinking SoL was a fitting tribute to the original band, if not with a big smile upon your face for having gotten to enjoy some great music from some very talented musicians. If I had any words to share with Jon, it would have to be "the band is just fantastic, that is really what I think, and by the way, that’s good Pink!"